for making me stronger.
for reminding me to embrace every moment.
for allowing me to believe in miracles.
for our daughter.
for the hardest yet best year of my life.
Christmas 2013: Greta's First Christmas
Christmas comes and goes so fast, but what a great time of year! We spent 3 days at my parents farm for the holidays and as much as I love the time spent with my family, we were very happy to be back home to sleep in our own bed and get back to our routine. On Christmas Eve, we go out of our bedtime routine with going to our Christmas eve service and drinks with family after. It left Greta overtired and bedtime was extremely difficult especially because I still had Christmas breakfast to prepare before I headed to bed - so it was a late night. She adjusted for the next couple days but that first night proved challenging.
Overall it was a great Christmas. Funny to think that last year I was coming up with excuses of why I was not having a glass of wine and extremely tired as were not yet telling family our exciting news (luckily we were in Germany away from my ever observant family and Matt's was easier to trick!). This year we were a family of three and we feel so blessed!
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with the ones you love! Here are a few photos from our few days.
Now to get ready for New Year's and my 30th birthday!
Overall it was a great Christmas. Funny to think that last year I was coming up with excuses of why I was not having a glass of wine and extremely tired as were not yet telling family our exciting news (luckily we were in Germany away from my ever observant family and Matt's was easier to trick!). This year we were a family of three and we feel so blessed!
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with the ones you love! Here are a few photos from our few days.
Now to get ready for New Year's and my 30th birthday!
Merry Christmas
Happy Friday!
I just wanted to pop in and say Merry Christmas to you all. I'm going to be back after the holidays with some new posts (such as thoughts on turning 30!..which is happening far to soon!). Until then things will be quiet around here as we travel to spend time with family and enjoy this wonderful time of year.
Wishing all your families a great happy and joy-filled holiday season.
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(tried to do a photoshoot with Greta but it turned out less than stellar as the ornaments were more entertaining - oh well!)
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Love,
The Krauses
Morning Sounds
Baby babbles.
Coffee percolating.
Furry paws tapping across the hardwood.
Vent blowing warm air.
Toast popping from the toaster.
These are sounds that fill our home every morning - they are the heartbeat of our home.
Sadly, these are sounds I often don't drink in as much as I should. Life is busy - especially at this time of the year and as a mom - but it's important to sit, listen and just be still as these sounds can and will change. Those babbles will soon become words. I may be too rushed for school/work to listen to the coffee perk. Life changes, often too quickly.
This weekend I briefly skimmed through an edition of Kinfolk while waiting for friends to meet me for brunch at a cafe in a bookstore. I came across this essay and it resonated. Life is busy and we often don't take enough time to take in our surroundings or just think. I'm guilty of having a brief moment and aimlessly scrolling through social media, thinking of the million things I need to do or have the TV running in the background - I'm never just still and soaking it in.
Take a moment this busy holiday season to listen, to think, or just be still.
Your soul will thank-you.
Stollen Scones
One of my December goals was to tackle some German baking this Christmas. Well, stollen is a popular Christmas treat in Germany and when I asked Matt if I wanted to make something traditionally German for Christmas, this is what he suggested. Well, I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle the actual bread - as Matt said most just buy it as it's time consuming so I decided that I would give stollen scones a try instead. They turned out great, so decided to share the recipe!
fruit & nut filling
1/4 c. golden raisins
1/4 c. sultanas
1/4.c dried cranberries
1 1/2 tbsp rum
1/3 c. chopped walnuts, toasted
1/3 c. sliced almonds, toasted
Mix together raisins, sultanas, cranberries and rum. Let sit for at least 1 hr OR 1 day for best results.
dough
1 2/3 c. all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
3 tbsp brown sugar
4 tbsp cold butter
3/4 c. marzipan, cubed
1/2 c. milk
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla
zest of half a lemon
Directions
- Preheat oven to 400F/200C. Line a baking sheet with parchment.
- In a large bowl combine the all-purpose flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and brown sugar, Mix well. Cut the cold butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture is the consistency of fine meal. Then rub cubed marzipan into mixture until it is a coarse crumb consistency.
- Combine about half of the milk with the beaten egg, vanilla extract, and zest of lemon. Make a well in the centre dry ingredient mixture and pour in the liquid ingredients. Using a spatula, stir the mixture a few times. Add the soaked fruits and toasted nuts, and mix until just combined. The dough will be soft and a little sticky - if it is too dry, add the remaining milk; if it is too sticky, add a little more flour. Avoid over-mixing the dough.
4. Divide the dough in half and shape them into small discs just over an inch in thickness. Cut each disk into 6 wedges and place onto the prepared baking sheet. Bake in the preheated oven for 13-18 minutes or until the scones are golden brown.
5. While scones are baking melt 2 tbsp of butter. When they are done, remove the scones from oven, and immediately baste the melted butter over them generously. Then finish by dusting thickly with icing sugar, and leave to cool completely. When you serve add an additional dusting of icing sugar if you desire. They are best eaten completely cooled. Store in an air tight container.
Have you had stollen before?
Perfect Christmas-y treat to snack on by the tree with a cup of coffee, hot chocolate or some rum and eggnog! Oh, or gluehwein!
Greta's Birth Story (Part II)
{If you missed Part I you can read it here.}
First, before I started writing this post I never really realized that we have no photos from my hospital stay - probably cause we were a little busy and I looked like crap! But it would have been nice to have had something from this time period. Come to think of it, Matt and I don't have a photo of us together with Greta from any of our hospital/NICU stay...I was always taking the photos and I guess we never thought to ask family or the nurses to capture one of us together. It's unfortunate but we had so much more on our minds at this time. I really wish that I would think to capture moments on camera more often.
Anyways, on to the rest of the birth story (hunker down with a coffee it's long - I don't blame you if you skim it):
First, before I started writing this post I never really realized that we have no photos from my hospital stay - probably cause we were a little busy and I looked like crap! But it would have been nice to have had something from this time period. Come to think of it, Matt and I don't have a photo of us together with Greta from any of our hospital/NICU stay...I was always taking the photos and I guess we never thought to ask family or the nurses to capture one of us together. It's unfortunate but we had so much more on our minds at this time. I really wish that I would think to capture moments on camera more often.
Anyways, on to the rest of the birth story (hunker down with a coffee it's long - I don't blame you if you skim it):
It was around 10 am on Monday, I was still sitting in triage with the fetal monitor around my belly when the intern and resident came to deliver the news. My bloodwork had come back and it showed highly elevated liver enzymes and a very low platelet count, confirming that as suspected it was HELLP syndrome. The young female resident (who I must say was great!) began to explain to us what the next course of action and events would entail. First, the syndrome was again explained to us fully - highlighting that the cause of why it occurs is not exactly known, but they believe that the body began to reject the placenta for any number of reasons. Next, I would undergo a fetal assessment in order to ensure the baby was healthy and to check there was adequate blood flow from placenta to baby. The results of the fetal assessment would then determine how quickly delivery would need to occur. Things could change from hour to hour OR minute to minute it all depended on what was happening with me. Lastly, it was explained how crucial it was that I receive a corticosteroid injection as it would help to reduce the risk of complications when the baby was delivered early as it would help to stimulate faster lung development. I received the injection within minutes and then we waited to be taken to the fetal assessment.
I believe I was offered a wheelchair when we were transported to the fetal assessment, but I declined and walked to the fetal assessment (while writing this I asked my husband why I walked, and he says that I was so determined that I was not that ill), I think I should have set my pride aside and just went in wheelchair but anyways - we walked. We had an awesome ultrasound technician for the fetal assessment - she explained everything she was doing, told us what she was measuring and assured us that the baby was looking great. I did not have very good experience with ultrasound techs earlier in my pregnancy as I found them very cold and would never talk or explain anything - I get they can't say much as they aren't doctors but I always felt weird after previous ultrasounds! Her compassion and reassurance was really what we needed at this point! Following the fetal assessment I was admitted to the Antepartum unit to be monitored for the next 24-48 hours.
For the rest of the afternoon we rested, prepared questions for the doctors who we would be meeting with and just tried to put into perspective what was going on. It had been a whirlwind of a morning and we had so much information to digest. My blood pressure was to be checked every two hours and blood was drawn every four to monitor the liver enzymes and platelet levels. Other than blood pressure medication that I took orally I was free of an IV or pain medication at this point - overall I felt fine. Early that evening my parents arrived and we had dinner while we waited for the doctors to update us on my latest lab work. It was actually "good" news my platelets hadn't dropped and had slightly increased - that meant that delivery was not necessary that evening, monitoring would continue and things would be reassessed in the morning. It was a slight relief that we still had time and we knew that every hour the baby was able to stay-put the better it was for development and decreased potential complication. Up to this point, I was told that c-section would be the only possibility for delivery but the doctor at this point noted I would potentially be able to deliver naturally, dependent on how things played out but it was a possibility. I was very happy to hear this - my hopes/ plans throughout my pregnancy was for a natural birth and so I clung to the hope that I would get to experience such a birth.
We decided that it was best for Matt to go home for the evening to take care of the dog and get some much needed sleep (which I'm sure he didn't get) - so I spent the night alone. I was lucky to have a private room, although I don't think I slept much, I shed many tears and was awoken often for blood pressure checks and blood work. However, I feel though that evening I came to terms with what was happening and felt that I could handle our situation - - I don't think we are given more than we are able to handle in life and felt that if this was the hand we were dealt than we had the capacity to handle it. I think Matt was far more scared than I was -- he was worried that he could potentially lose us both. For me, I didn't really put much consideration into the "thoughts" of loss - in my chosen field I have seen a lot, and worked with children who were preemies, many far more premature than we were dealing with and although some of them had challenges they had to overcome they were here - they made it. I knew the survival rate at 30 weeks looked good especially since she measured well on the fetal assessment and I believed we created a fighter who was meant to experience this world. Also, I felt that I (as well as Matt) was equipped with the knowledge and capacity to deal with the potential deficits and challenges that could potentially face us if complications led to a potential disability. Sure I hoped for best but also knew I was prepared for the worst-case scenario.
Tuesday, June 4
In the morning, we were visited by both the neonatologist and anesthesiologist to discuss potential outcomes and agree to certain course of treatments, when and if certain situations arose. The neonatologist confirmed what I already knew, that the survival outlook was good but had to inform us of the numerous complications that could occur. He explained the potential need for blood transfusions, ventilation, and other life saving interventions - we were well-informed, got the answers to the questions we had and felt in good hands. The meeting with the anesthesiologist was similar, although at this point I was hoping anesthesiologist wouldn't need to be part of my care plan but we had to be prepared for all outcomes. We were informed that "delivery" could happen one of two ways. One, I would go under local anesthetic for the c-section in which Matt would be allowed in the delivery room and I would be conscious. Two, I would need to be put under general anesthetic where I would be completely put out and Matt would not be able to be in the OR for the delivery. Of course, I was hoping that neither of these would need to be my option and that either induction or my body would naturally go into early labor - but of these two options we had hoped that local anesthetic could be the course of action. To this the anesthesiologist replied that in most cases they had seen this was not the route that had to be taken. It was then explained that it would depend on my platelet level at the time - if they were too low labor was not recommended due to the large amount of potential loss and local anesthetic would no longer be an option because of the potential of bleeding in the spinal cord that could lead to paralysis. My options were not looking good and at this point I was becoming a lot more scared about my overall outcome.
Other than those meetings the day was pretty uneventful, friends visited (bringing our first preemie outfits and a chance to talk about other things) - I was still feeling ok, the pain had yet to return and my labs were staying steady. I had received my second steroid injection which was an added bonus for baby but the doctor later explained that although it was helping baby it was actually helping masking how sick I was by causing a spike in my platelets levels - it was buying us more time but it was by no means "getting better". Monitoring would continue but the doctors believed it wasn't going to be much longer until we inevitably needed to take action.
Wednesday, June 5
Following the previous trend, I was awoken in the middle of the night around 2am and the pain had returned. I buzzed the nurses, they informed the doctors, and I immediately called Matt who was at home again to look after our pup. I was given pain medication, blood was drawn, and we were to wait for the labs to comeback for the doctor to make a decision on course of action. Around 6am we were informed I would have another fetal assessment around 11am in order to see how baby was. Seriously, I feel like we did a lot of waiting on tests and for appointments in this 3 day period, it was so hard "just to sit tight to see what the labs say", especially when we knew inevitably we would be dealing with the same outcome at some point.
Anyways at the fetal assessment it was found that the bloodflow to the baby was starting to become compromised and they felt that we needed to intervene as soon as possible. We again discussed the options, and I asked again if it were possible to induce labor to try for a vaginal delivery. The doctor said that they would check if my cervix had begun to soften at all...and it hadn't. We were told that at this point they didn't feel we had the time to attempt induction and that a c-section would be the fasted and best option.
Following the fetal assessment, wepatiently (ugh) waited to hear news on when we would be scheduled to prep for surgery - only to be told that we would need to be transferred to another hospital in the city as the current hospital NICU was at capacity. I was not happy about this - and later after talking with my obstetrician neither was she! She (as well as I) felt that the on-call OBGYN should have done all that they could to have kept my case at the hospital where all my previous consults had occurred - although the result would have been the same at least it would have been with people I had already met with - and as you will see I believe in a more timely fashion).
So again we waited, this time for the ambulance which came to transport me around 2pm, it was aquick, bumpy 15 minute ride in which my husband did not get to be with me as he drove our vehicle to the new hospital (to pay yet more and more money in parking..). He and my parents met us there and I was placed in a room to wait to be prepped for surgery which was "scheduled" for 4pm. Part of the prep was to start 2 IV's which took a gazillion 15 or so attempts to start, they actually had to call in the specialized IV team, I felt like a human pin-cushion at this point (and had the bruises to show it for weeks following this ordeal) and felt weaker, tired, and more faint every minute (my platelets were so low at this point and the IV was for a blood transfusion). So much so that I can't remember much of the prep, other than there being lots of nurses, more consults from specialist we had already met with at the previous hospital, and me spending the majority of the time trying to get my wedding rings off. I had started to swell even more and realized I still had my rings on (I'd been working on trying to get them off over the course of the past days) the nurses gave me lotions, we iced my finger for awhile, to no avail they wouldn't budge -- finally the nurse arrived with metal cutters and I sadly agreed to having them cut off (read: take off your rings early pregnant ladies!). Finally I was prepped and waiting (seeing the trend) for the doctor to be finished with an "emergency" (was I not an emergency?!) surgery. At this point, I felt the worst I had in days - and we just continued to wait and wait, finally around 5:45-6pm I was told they were ready, said goodbye to Matt (ensured we still agree on the name we had chosen as he would be the one to tell the name since I would be out) and my parents then was wheeled down the hall to the operating room. Transferred to the operating table, my arms strapped out to my side, there was yet another difficulty with IV or something regarding the anesthesia. From here again I just remember bright light, tonnes of nurses introducing themselves, questions, more talking, more waiting, and more poking. They kept saying the doctor was on the way, but it seemed like forever I'd been waiting, then at this point I was freezing and I began to shake, my teeth chattered, I couldn't focus on anything - blankets covered me yet I was still cold. I waited, waited, and then....darkness. I guess finally the doctor arrived.
Greta Elyse arrived at 7:01 via c-section 2lbs 9oz and 15 inches . My husband seen her immediately after she was examined. These were her first photos (our little fighter didn't even need to be intubated, just some oxygen, her strength amazed us, she still amazes us!)
After I "came to" from surgery, I was wheeled into the recovery room. Greta was there in an isolette, but sadly I vaguely remember. I do remember saying she's so small, asking is she ok, and wanting to touch her reaching out hitting plastic and not the soft warm newborn skin. It would be 2 days later that I would actually hold her in my arms on my chest. I wish that I had a better memory of the first moments of her life and I wish that I could recall these events better. But in the end, she arrived safely and healthy - just early and needed time to grow. Myself, I'm here too - I'm healthy. The few days after were rough - rougher than the days leading up to the birth, as I was on IV's, medications, and pain killers but that passed and I don't have any ongoing issues like some people who have experienced HELLP syndrome. We are both lucky. There are so many emotions attached to her birth. Part of me wishes they had taken action sooner and maybe I could have been induced, but all the time we took waiting - every extra minuted helped her strive and thrive, the latter is most important in the long run.
If you have any questions on my story, preterm birth or our NICU experience please feel free to contact me or comment below. I don't think anyone can ever be "prepared" for a preterm birth but if I can in anyway help with questions I'd be more than happy to answer them.
Have a great weekend!
I believe I was offered a wheelchair when we were transported to the fetal assessment, but I declined and walked to the fetal assessment (while writing this I asked my husband why I walked, and he says that I was so determined that I was not that ill), I think I should have set my pride aside and just went in wheelchair but anyways - we walked. We had an awesome ultrasound technician for the fetal assessment - she explained everything she was doing, told us what she was measuring and assured us that the baby was looking great. I did not have very good experience with ultrasound techs earlier in my pregnancy as I found them very cold and would never talk or explain anything - I get they can't say much as they aren't doctors but I always felt weird after previous ultrasounds! Her compassion and reassurance was really what we needed at this point! Following the fetal assessment I was admitted to the Antepartum unit to be monitored for the next 24-48 hours.
For the rest of the afternoon we rested, prepared questions for the doctors who we would be meeting with and just tried to put into perspective what was going on. It had been a whirlwind of a morning and we had so much information to digest. My blood pressure was to be checked every two hours and blood was drawn every four to monitor the liver enzymes and platelet levels. Other than blood pressure medication that I took orally I was free of an IV or pain medication at this point - overall I felt fine. Early that evening my parents arrived and we had dinner while we waited for the doctors to update us on my latest lab work. It was actually "good" news my platelets hadn't dropped and had slightly increased - that meant that delivery was not necessary that evening, monitoring would continue and things would be reassessed in the morning. It was a slight relief that we still had time and we knew that every hour the baby was able to stay-put the better it was for development and decreased potential complication. Up to this point, I was told that c-section would be the only possibility for delivery but the doctor at this point noted I would potentially be able to deliver naturally, dependent on how things played out but it was a possibility. I was very happy to hear this - my hopes/ plans throughout my pregnancy was for a natural birth and so I clung to the hope that I would get to experience such a birth.
We decided that it was best for Matt to go home for the evening to take care of the dog and get some much needed sleep (which I'm sure he didn't get) - so I spent the night alone. I was lucky to have a private room, although I don't think I slept much, I shed many tears and was awoken often for blood pressure checks and blood work. However, I feel though that evening I came to terms with what was happening and felt that I could handle our situation - - I don't think we are given more than we are able to handle in life and felt that if this was the hand we were dealt than we had the capacity to handle it. I think Matt was far more scared than I was -- he was worried that he could potentially lose us both. For me, I didn't really put much consideration into the "thoughts" of loss - in my chosen field I have seen a lot, and worked with children who were preemies, many far more premature than we were dealing with and although some of them had challenges they had to overcome they were here - they made it. I knew the survival rate at 30 weeks looked good especially since she measured well on the fetal assessment and I believed we created a fighter who was meant to experience this world. Also, I felt that I (as well as Matt) was equipped with the knowledge and capacity to deal with the potential deficits and challenges that could potentially face us if complications led to a potential disability. Sure I hoped for best but also knew I was prepared for the worst-case scenario.
Tuesday, June 4
In the morning, we were visited by both the neonatologist and anesthesiologist to discuss potential outcomes and agree to certain course of treatments, when and if certain situations arose. The neonatologist confirmed what I already knew, that the survival outlook was good but had to inform us of the numerous complications that could occur. He explained the potential need for blood transfusions, ventilation, and other life saving interventions - we were well-informed, got the answers to the questions we had and felt in good hands. The meeting with the anesthesiologist was similar, although at this point I was hoping anesthesiologist wouldn't need to be part of my care plan but we had to be prepared for all outcomes. We were informed that "delivery" could happen one of two ways. One, I would go under local anesthetic for the c-section in which Matt would be allowed in the delivery room and I would be conscious. Two, I would need to be put under general anesthetic where I would be completely put out and Matt would not be able to be in the OR for the delivery. Of course, I was hoping that neither of these would need to be my option and that either induction or my body would naturally go into early labor - but of these two options we had hoped that local anesthetic could be the course of action. To this the anesthesiologist replied that in most cases they had seen this was not the route that had to be taken. It was then explained that it would depend on my platelet level at the time - if they were too low labor was not recommended due to the large amount of potential loss and local anesthetic would no longer be an option because of the potential of bleeding in the spinal cord that could lead to paralysis. My options were not looking good and at this point I was becoming a lot more scared about my overall outcome.
Other than those meetings the day was pretty uneventful, friends visited (bringing our first preemie outfits and a chance to talk about other things) - I was still feeling ok, the pain had yet to return and my labs were staying steady. I had received my second steroid injection which was an added bonus for baby but the doctor later explained that although it was helping baby it was actually helping masking how sick I was by causing a spike in my platelets levels - it was buying us more time but it was by no means "getting better". Monitoring would continue but the doctors believed it wasn't going to be much longer until we inevitably needed to take action.
Wednesday, June 5
Following the previous trend, I was awoken in the middle of the night around 2am and the pain had returned. I buzzed the nurses, they informed the doctors, and I immediately called Matt who was at home again to look after our pup. I was given pain medication, blood was drawn, and we were to wait for the labs to comeback for the doctor to make a decision on course of action. Around 6am we were informed I would have another fetal assessment around 11am in order to see how baby was. Seriously, I feel like we did a lot of waiting on tests and for appointments in this 3 day period, it was so hard "just to sit tight to see what the labs say", especially when we knew inevitably we would be dealing with the same outcome at some point.
Anyways at the fetal assessment it was found that the bloodflow to the baby was starting to become compromised and they felt that we needed to intervene as soon as possible. We again discussed the options, and I asked again if it were possible to induce labor to try for a vaginal delivery. The doctor said that they would check if my cervix had begun to soften at all...and it hadn't. We were told that at this point they didn't feel we had the time to attempt induction and that a c-section would be the fasted and best option.
Following the fetal assessment, we
So again we waited, this time for the ambulance which came to transport me around 2pm, it was a
Greta Elyse arrived at 7:01 via c-section 2lbs 9oz and 15 inches . My husband seen her immediately after she was examined. These were her first photos (our little fighter didn't even need to be intubated, just some oxygen, her strength amazed us, she still amazes us!)
(to give you some perspective - in the top photo you can see a hand-held thermometer and it's big in perspective to her)
After I "came to" from surgery, I was wheeled into the recovery room. Greta was there in an isolette, but sadly I vaguely remember. I do remember saying she's so small, asking is she ok, and wanting to touch her reaching out hitting plastic and not the soft warm newborn skin. It would be 2 days later that I would actually hold her
If you have any questions on my story, preterm birth or our NICU experience please feel free to contact me or comment below. I don't think anyone can ever be "prepared" for a preterm birth but if I can in anyway help with questions I'd be more than happy to answer them.
Have a great weekend!
Christmas Cards
One of the many things I love about the holidays is Christmas Cards! I love receiving (finally not just bills in the mailbox!) and love sending them as we don't send enough snail mail these days. I love seeing the changes in families from year to year as everyone's family seems to grow. I've gone from sending them as a single gal (not with a photo at that point), the first one with our pup, then a married couple, and now this year our little family!
I got the rubber stamps at Target and they were perfect for a little added detail on the back and front of the envelopes. I love dressing up the envelopes a bit, kinda wish I'd picked up some washi tape too, oh well maybe next year! (see I picked up my camera for these photos! yay for fulfilling some December goals!)
Do you send out cards every year or is it not your thing? Also, quick tip I seen floating around on pinterest...wondering what to do with those cards after the holidays are over, take a photo of the families card and added it as the photo for them as a contact in your phone for the year - I thought it was a great idea!
This year we worked with Carli at PerfectSalt Paperie & Design (go check out her Etsy shop!). I worked with her a bit this year; first on Greta's birth announcements and then she did some paper goods for Greta's Sip & See. She did some really great work and was awesome to work with so when I knew what I envisioned for our card I turned to her yet again, with yet another success! They showcased the photos taken by my good friend Kristin at Mallet Photography perfectly.
So here's a little look!
Do you send out cards every year or is it not your thing? Also, quick tip I seen floating around on pinterest...wondering what to do with those cards after the holidays are over, take a photo of the families card and added it as the photo for them as a contact in your phone for the year - I thought it was a great idea!
Holiday Craft: 2 DIY Ornaments
During naptime over the past couple weeks I have worked on two different types of DIY ornaments for our tree and to use as gifts.
Have you been working on Christmas crafts? I can't wait until Greta is old enough to do these things with me! I can see making these two types of ornaments becoming a Christmas tradition!
Looking for some craft ideas? I'm linking up with Michaela & Cassie of Hi Sugarplum so click over for some other craft ideas!
First off were salt dough ornaments. I made these mainly as a keepsake ornament for Greta. I did two hand-prints and two footprints, we are keeping a one of each and the two other are gifts for each set of grandparents for Christmas. Before baking I stamped in the letters of her name using rubber stamps and then painted it in after they dried (there are tutorials that stamped using ink and it bakes in as well). I also did some other shapes and painted them for gifts as well.
Here is the recipe and directions:
Ingredients:
- 1/2 cup salt
- 1/2 cup warm water
- 1 cup flour
Directions:
1. Mix together the salt and water, then gradually add the flour and mix until combined
2. On a lightly floured surface, form the dough into a ball and knead for until a soft dough forms.
3. Roll out the dough to a ¼" thickness and cut out shapes with cookie cutters and then make imprints or stamp with rubber stamps.
4. Use a skewer to poke holes at the tops of the ornaments for string.
5. Place the ornaments baking sheet lined with parchment and bake at 200°F for 3 to 4 hours, then transfer to wire rack to continue drying overnight until firm.
6. Paint!
6. Paint!
The next type were cinnamon & applesauce ornaments. These make the house smell amazing while baking and the smell lingers as they hang on your tree, making it even more festive. We don't have a real tree so we don't get the fresh tree smell to put us in the spirit - so these helped! I made quite a few of these ornaments and I plan on using them as decorations when I wrap gifts for the family as well!
You can find the recipe and directions for these here.
Looking for some craft ideas? I'm linking up with Michaela & Cassie of Hi Sugarplum so click over for some other craft ideas!
Weekend Recap {...baby it's cold outside edition}
We spent most of the weekend staying warm with the woodstove burning and watching cheesy Christmas movies. We are in a deep-freeze here (as it sounds like most places are experiencing colder than normal temps across North America) with our temperatures sitting around -40 C with the windchill.
We did venture out for a local pancake breakfast with Santa on Saturday morning where Greta got her first photo with Santa:
Lastly, last night was a bit rough. This lil' miss was quite fussy and did not go to sleep or stay a sleep for very long. These rosy cheeks appeared yesterday, leading us to believe she may be teething. We are hoping she is not getting sick - but we are off to the doctor today for her 6 month appointment so we will see what the doctor has to say about it anyways.
We did venture out for a local pancake breakfast with Santa on Saturday morning where Greta got her first photo with Santa:
{Apparently I'm not doing so well with my December goal of using my dSLR more as I forgot it that morning so this was snapped with the iPhone}
On Sunday I baked and decorated some sugar cookies while Greta and Matt enjoyed some snuggles on the couch. I'm also loving these cookies and hoping to give them a try next weekend although, I'm not sure mine will ever look as pretty, I can dream though right?!
{I think the rosy cheeks look pretty cute!}
How was your weekend? Are you in a deep freeze where you are? Hope you have a great Monday to start off your week!
Happy St. Nikolaus | German Christmas Traditions
Happy St. Nikolaus blogettes, today is Nikolaustag or St. Nickolas Day. It's a German (as well as other European countries) tradition that we plan on celebrating yearly with Greta. This year (and the next few) she is obviously a little to young to get excited or understand but Matt's mom sent her a package so we are going to start it this year anyways.
Hope you have a great weekend!
What is St. Nikolaus Day?
You can read about it here, but essentially it is a day to celebrate Saint Nickolas (who Santa Claus is based on). Children in Germany shine up there best pair of shoes and leave them outside their bedroom door (or some leave a stocking hanging on their door) on December 5th, in the morning of December 6th their shoes are filled with chocolate, small candies or a small trinket/gifts. Fun right! It's not a time for large gifts but just a small toy or candy.
I'm happy that we get to expose Greta to two different cultures and traditions. We still have to decide how we will plan to celebrate Christmas because in Germany the main celebration and opening of gifts occur on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, I think we will have sometime to figure out what will work best for us and it may depend upon where we celebrate Christmas. This year we are here in Canada for Christmas with my parents but it will most likely alternate each year, if we can keep affording the flights. I love Christmas and if I can't spend it with my family, I think Germany is the next best place! Have seen/heard about German Christmas markets (Weihnachsmarkt)?! They are absolutely magical! I can't wait until we get to expose Greta to one when she is older!
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| Cologne Christmas Market {via} |
Hope you have a great weekend!
Dear Greta: Six Months!
Dear Greta,
I can't believe it has been six months (half a year!) since you entered this world and stole our hearts. Time goes by to quickly and there are times I wish it would slow down because before we know it I'll be back at to classes and longing for the days spent at home with you. Now, although you are technically six months (only 4 months adjusted) you are not doing everything a typical six month old would do but you are getting close! Everyday we see you change and do things that amaze us - your Dad claims you'll be walking soon as he was an early walker, but I have to remind him that you will do things on your own time. Although you have been in this world for six months we have to remind ourselves that no matter how clever of a girl you are, you have been in the world two months longer than others and still have to catch up.
Your Stats:
Today, we are headed to the doctor's so we will find out your weight and see if our predictions are right that you around 12 lbs. You are getting a special immunization today so that you don't get a virus that could make you really sick if you were to get it so we are taking precautions and you will have to get 1 shot a month for the next 5 months (sorry for all the pokes you'll receive but we feel it's better than more time back in the hospital). Your wearing some 3-6 month outfits, more for the length but your growing!
About You:
Your working on learning to roll! We play games on the floor every morning and we do "rolly polly ollie" which you love and giggle throughout. Your also explore your feet! I made up a jingle bell rattle for your feet and your amazed every time you kick and her the sound. We also sing this "little piggy" and you giggle every time the little piggy goes "wee" all the way home. Your smile and laughs light a fire in our hearts, your just so precious, my sweet girl!
Naps! Finally naps are getting better, I can't say everyday but more consistently you are taking naps in your crib! As much as I enjoy our cuddles, it is nice to have you napping in your crib - the house has gotten decorated for the holidays and more laundry had been done.
Speaking of laundry, another big thing this month is that we started cloth diapering you! We are trialing it out because Daddy is not so happy about this plan but we will see. You have really cute baby tush is your cloth diapers!
You Love:
I can't believe it has been six months (half a year!) since you entered this world and stole our hearts. Time goes by to quickly and there are times I wish it would slow down because before we know it I'll be back at to classes and longing for the days spent at home with you. Now, although you are technically six months (only 4 months adjusted) you are not doing everything a typical six month old would do but you are getting close! Everyday we see you change and do things that amaze us - your Dad claims you'll be walking soon as he was an early walker, but I have to remind him that you will do things on your own time. Although you have been in this world for six months we have to remind ourselves that no matter how clever of a girl you are, you have been in the world two months longer than others and still have to catch up.
Your Stats:
Today, we are headed to the doctor's so we will find out your weight and see if our predictions are right that you around 12 lbs. You are getting a special immunization today so that you don't get a virus that could make you really sick if you were to get it so we are taking precautions and you will have to get 1 shot a month for the next 5 months (sorry for all the pokes you'll receive but we feel it's better than more time back in the hospital). Your wearing some 3-6 month outfits, more for the length but your growing!
About You:
Your working on learning to roll! We play games on the floor every morning and we do "rolly polly ollie" which you love and giggle throughout. Your also explore your feet! I made up a jingle bell rattle for your feet and your amazed every time you kick and her the sound. We also sing this "little piggy" and you giggle every time the little piggy goes "wee" all the way home. Your smile and laughs light a fire in our hearts, your just so precious, my sweet girl!
Naps! Finally naps are getting better, I can't say everyday but more consistently you are taking naps in your crib! As much as I enjoy our cuddles, it is nice to have you napping in your crib - the house has gotten decorated for the holidays and more laundry had been done.
Speaking of laundry, another big thing this month is that we started cloth diapering you! We are trialing it out because Daddy is not so happy about this plan but we will see. You have really cute baby tush is your cloth diapers!
You Love:
- Playing with your playgym
- Sitting in the bumbo while we eat dinner
- Snuggles with Daddy
- Playing "Super Greta"
Look at the progress you have made! Watching you grow is incredible. We love you so much. Next up is your first Christmas - so excited!
Mommy, Daddy & Milka
DIY: Burlap Holiday Banner
Today, I put together a simple burlap banner for above our TV. This area is pretty empty, but I have plans for a gallery wall for the space, so decided to get used to having something there by adding a holiday banner.
It was relatively simple.
You need:
I just cut the out rectangles (appr. 4x6 in) from the burlap {check out this post for getting a straight cut}. Used a stencil to trace letters and colored in with a black sharpie. Then I threaded a darning needle with my baker's twine and threaded it through the letters. It's hung up by 4 thumbtacks. Voila!
I thought Merry Christmas was pretty long so I went with "Be Merry" - puts me in the right mood every time I look at it!
What have you been working on for Christmas decor and crafts?
It was relatively simple.
You need:
- burlap fabric
- baker's twine or any other twine/string/yarn
- black sharpie
- stencil (or not if your good at free handing letters)
I just cut the out rectangles (appr. 4x6 in) from the burlap {check out this post for getting a straight cut}. Used a stencil to trace letters and colored in with a black sharpie. Then I threaded a darning needle with my baker's twine and threaded it through the letters. It's hung up by 4 thumbtacks. Voila!
I thought Merry Christmas was pretty long so I went with "Be Merry" - puts me in the right mood every time I look at it!
What have you been working on for Christmas decor and crafts?
December Goals
I can't believe December is here! The countdown to Christmas has begun and I feel like there is still a ton to do this month. I wanted to write down a few goals for December, when I first started the blog I did a few goal posts and haven't done one in awhile, so time to get back at it -- especially since New Year's resolution time is around the corner
Do you set goals every month? What are your goals? Feel free to share some blogging schedule tips, recipes and how you curb your social media time. I'd love to hear from you!
In other news, we tried our first cloth diaper out today! Trying to convince Matt it's the way to go so I'm borrowing my sister's stash to try them out before her new one arrives in January!
- Take more photos with my DSLR, at least once a day I want to pull it out and take photos. The quality of my iPhone ain't cutting it and I need to get some photos in some frames to make our house a little more "homey"
- Decrease social media time. I admit it I spend to much time on Instagram and Facebook etc, admission is the first step right? It's unconscious most times and I do it on autopilot and find my self scrolling for no reason at all. I have this year at home with my daughter so I need to soak in any moment, nothing is more important than her or my husband! Naptime can be my time to check out what happening.
- Bake 2 different Christmas cookie recipes than usual. Hoping that they will be of a German variety that I can master so that when Greta is older we can bake German Christmas cookies together as a tradition.
- Develop a blogging schedule. I probably won't post everyday but I hope to post 3 times a week regularly so I plan to sit down and plan some content, posts etc so that come January I can have plan.
In other news, we tried our first cloth diaper out today! Trying to convince Matt it's the way to go so I'm borrowing my sister's stash to try them out before her new one arrives in January!
Breastfeeding a Preemie: My Journey
{I'm still working on the second part of Greta's birth story, so today I am going to share a bit of my journey towards breastfeeding.}
This post was sparked by the fact that yesterday I left Greta with Matt while I went for a haircut and she finally took a bottle again with no problem - which with the holidays fast approaching makes me happy, because a) that means I can enjoy a cup of cheer (or two) without having to worry and b) I can maybe get some Christmas shopping done without a baby in tow (don't get me wrong I enjoy every minute with my girl - but sometimes it is faster to get things done when I don't have her with me). It's funny to say that I am happy for her to take a bottle because I worked so hard for her to exclusively breastfeed - but it's good to have the option when it's needed.
I think for some (maybe even most) that even though breastfeeding is a suppose to be an "instinct" it seems that I hear an increasing number of mom's talking about their difficulties with breastfeeding. Now, add a baby that is 10 weeks early who doesn't have the ability yet to breathe and suckle at the same time and a mother's body who is not yet prepared for this process to begin - then the work and dedication to make breastfeeding possible is tough! Now I'm not not trying to make it sound like my journey to breastfeeding was far more difficult than any other mother (in the end when she was actually ready it was quite easy), I'm just sharing with you what it took to get where we are today.
I never actually "met" Greta, other than in a foggy haze post-section and through pictures that my husband showed me, until a day and a half after giving birth. I never got to hold her or physically see her to help stimulate the hormones that would help my milk come in so I felt that I had missed out on a critical moment that would help me with my ability to breastfeed and was so worried that we would have to formula-feed her. On the maternity ward of the hospital where I sent for my recovery there was no nurse questioned me about whether I had planned to breastfeed, actually other than continually checking my blood pressure I was pretty much just left alone. It wasn't until I finally made it to Greta's bedside in the NICU that discussions of breastfeeding occurred, as one of the first question I was asked was whether I had any pumped milk for her with me. Which I did not because no one had yet to bring a pump to my room or even discuss the possibility with me. I responded no, and they explained to me that she has currently been receiving donor breast milk but they suggestion that as soon as I'm ready that any drop of my milk would be best. I was totally on board - I knew that two things that were going to help her get strong quickly were one, lots of skin-to-skin and breast milk as I knew my body would produce what she needed. So that afternoon when I returned to my room I asked the nurse if I could have a pump to start pumping. So she wheeled in this ancient looking machine, handed me a bag full of tubes, bottles, and little pieces of plastic and then LEFT. So there I sat and new mom, not feeling 100% sitting in a hospital bed with a machine and a bag of plastic parts with no instructions expected to know what to do. I was frustrated, but I opened the bag put the things together and away I went. I hoped I knew what to do (man I grew up on dairy farm and had milked a cow or two in my day..bad joke?!) . What I didn't know were the settings on the machine were set to high so on the cups went and holy man the suction brought me to tears, but I sat there for 10 minutes, sucked it up and got a few drops from each side. Three hours later, I didn't again but played around with some knobs and found the suction could be reduced and increase. Man, it would have been nice if the nurse gave me some instructions!
From there I pumped diligently every 3 hours day and night. But it seemed that no matter how diligent I was my milk supply stay low (although I was still able to meet the demands of Greta't tiny stomach so I guess my body knew how much was needed?). I remember one mom bringing her pumped milk in one morning and she had a bag full of containers, there was me with 4 containers not even half full each, maybe 4oz combined, and she was getting 4oz a pump! I was getting discouraged, I was trying so hard, stressed out, and not sleeping great because I was pumping every 3 hours plus on top of that I had developed a milk blister. So I met with a lactation consultant and was prescribed Domperidone (not Dom Perignon which is what I always referred to it as -- the latter would have at least made me more relaxed!) which is a medication to help increase milk supply. It started to help, but the side effect was it gave me headaches so I decided to take half a dose of the prescription and used Fenugreek, a herbal remedy for lactation, as well. I made lactation cookies, ate oatmeal like it was going out of style and water, water, and more water. Eventually, as we got closer to discharge my supply increased.
The next challenge, was the latch. At around 34 weeks we started trying Greta at the breast, as she was doing great on the bottles of pumped milk. Some days she did ok, others it was hard to get a latch so it was suggested by a nurse that we purchase a nipple shield. We did and it help a lot! Soon we were breastfeed for every feed I was at the hospital for. So when we were discharged we were advised to have her breastfeed 4 times a day max and the rest should be done by bottle as to not tire her to fast. So I continued to pump, Matt would feed her the bottles while I pumped and the next feed I would breastfeed. It was exhausting, I was so sick of pumping -- I just wanted to strictly breastfeed, especially since I found that due to the nipple shield my supply was decreasing but every attempt without the shied seemed to fail. I was hoping the local health nurse would help me in my home with some tips to decrease the use of shield but when I contacted her she directed me to a breastfeeding clinic in the city. Now we were FINALLY home after nearly two months spent driving daily to the city to be with Greta and she expected me to pack up my tiny little one and make a trek to the city yet again - give me a break, that is last thing I wanted to do (I understand that the local public health nurse is busy but I wish they would have considered what it meant to drive to the city for assistance). So I hit the internet, watched videos on getting the perfect latch, read articles and we prevailed around 38 weeks - she just seemed to get it! I was so happy at this point. We were finally exclusively breastfeeding and I didn't want to see a pump again for a while!
I thought we were right were we wanted to be, exclusively breastfeed but able to take a bottle when needed. That was until it came time for here to take a bottle again - and she refused - cried for hour refusing the bottle. As a friend of mine put it; why would she want something hard, plastic and that gets cold when she can nuzzle into something warm, soft and smells like you. I guess I can't blame her but only wanting to breastfeed when we worked so hard for it! I'd rather her refuse the bottle than not breastfeed at all, but am also happy be are back to her taking a bottle for a little bit of freedom after our long journey too!
Have a great weekend! I hope this is not too long and boring for those who stop to read!
Greta's Birth Story (Part I)
I briefly touched on my birth experience in this post, but I thought a longer and more detailed post was in order before I forget all the details of the 5-day ordeal. I'm sorry for such a long post!
First I want to note that I had a great pregnancy up until this point, had a few days of mornings sickness and some fatigue in the beginning but otherwise it was great. I complete all my required schoolwork for the term and had just finished the 4th week of an 8 week fieldwork placement when this all happened.
Saturday, June 1st
I was awoken suddenly, early in the morning (around 3am) by a sharp pain in my upper abdominal area right below the sternum. It was a weird pain, it lingered for a bit and subsided only to come back a little stronger. I jogged my brain to remember what I had eaten the evening before thinking that it was heartburn. I had never experienced heartburn in my life, but knew it was a common in pregnancy - especially in the last trimester (I was going to be 30 weeks on Tuesday). So I chalked it up to "heartburn" and had a pretty uncomfortable sleep - telling myself I would head to town for some tums in the morning. I really didn't feel well for most of the day, I rested on the couch for most of the morning and then started to feel a bit better after lunch, so I headed to the store. I had a baby shower for a friend on the Sunday that I needed to provide a dessert for so I got some things that I needed for that and picked up some Tums. I came home took some tums and prepared the dessert as well as started some supper for the evening and was generally feeling better. "Wow" I said to my husband, "heartburn is not fun, I never knew if could be this bad". We laughed, ate supper, and settled on the couch for the evening. Then around 8pm the pain came back this time along with a wicked headache. I popped a Tylenol and then called my mom. I filled my mom in on the details and while on the phone with her the pain became extremely intense, nearly unbearable. My mom suggested that I call Health Links (a local resource that connects you with a Registered Nurse to help with decisions on what care you may require). I told the nurse on the line my spiel, nearly 30 weeks pregnant, on and off pain in upper abdomen below sternum that I would rate a 7-8 at times, swollen feet (don't all pregnant women?!) and answered all her questions, by this point I was actually feeling almost 100% better.
But this was her advice: "take a baby aspirin and call the ambulance ASAP."
Me: "What?!" Yes, that was my response. "you know what..since the beginning of our conversation the pain has subsided substantially"
The nurse then asked, "are you going to take my advice?"
I responded, "well truthfully, I'm not going to call the ambulance. Like I said, I'm feeling much better but if the pain returns I will definitely have my husband drive me to the ER."
Nurse, "so your not taking my advice?"
Me: "No, not at this time."
Nurse: "Ok, but that is my advice."
I hung up the phone, my husband looked at me puzzled and asked what she said, "I think she thought I was having a heart attack! I'm not having a heart attack! The pain is gone now, I'm ready for bed". My husband questioned me again and said it was up to me, hospital or no hospital, "no hospital" I responded and off we went to bed.
(Note: I know your probably shaking your head at me at this point and I don't blame you. If I learned anything from my experience it is trust the professionals. I figured I knew my body -- but now realize I may have been in denial - and at this point the pain had subsided - and didn't want to be over dramatic by heading to the ER. I do wish that the nurse had explained to me WHY she was advising me to call the ambulance, I may have been more inclined to follow her advice if she explained what she thought was going on - she gave no explanation and as I said from her advice I assumed she miss understood where I describing the pain.)
Sunday, June 2
I woke up feeling fine! I had slept well and had no pain. I had sent my friend a text before I went to bed saying I may not make the shower as I wasn't feeling great so I texted her again telling her I would make it and was feeling better. So my husband and I headed to my parents (the shower was near their home) and I went off to the shower that afternoon. All my friends were there and of course being pregnant everyone asks how you are, I explained my previous 24 hours to most, laughing it off. Most agreed that I looked fine - "but wow your feet are swollen!". After the baby shower, we had supper at my parents and then prepared to head home. Before leaving though, my mom said that she thought my face was really swollen and even my arms a bit, well I am pregnant mom!
"I don't know, you look so pale too" my mom stated.
"Well, I feel fine right now," I kissed her goodbye and we headed home.
Got home and went to bed.
Monday, June 3
I was again awoken around 2 am, this time the pain was extremely intense. I went to the washroom and was so dizzy. When I went back to the bedroom, picked up my iPhone.
I googled my symptoms: swollen feet, upper abdominal pain, headache, dizziness while pregnant.
All my results: PRE-ECLAMPSIA/ECLAMPSIA. (insert panic)
Immediately I woke Matt and said "we need to go to the hospital! I don't care if maybe I'm self-diagnosing and being dramatic but we are going". We hopped in the truck and made the 30 minute drive to the closest hospital - we arrived around 3 am.
Luckily, there was no one else in the waiting room. I was immediately triaged by the nurse. She took my blood pressure: 150/94. Oh no! I thought it is pre-eclampsia (as a high blood pressure was the link to all the other symptoms). The nurse said nothing, didn't even seemed phased my high BP and sent me to sit with my husband until I'm called.
We waited a few minutes and then we were placed in a ER bed, a nurse checked my stats again, asked me a few questions and then we waited for the doctor. The nurse and doctor came in about 20 minutes later (it was actually a doctor I had had at another ER visit).
Dr: "So I hear your having some upper abdominal pain ... explain the pain ...where exactly..."
I answered his questions pointing to just under my sternum radiating right and sometimes into the back, can become a 7-8.
Dr: "Well I think we are looking at a case of gallstones - which is very common in pregnancy..either that or you are having a hairy baby" he and the nurse laugh.
Me: "oh really? Gallstones?" (seriously, like I said I had seen this doctor before (not during pregnancy) -- and his answer that time was gallstones/kidney stone then too which was wrong...really Dr..really I'm thinking)
Dr. "Ya, very common, just hang tight I'll be back"...then as he turns to leave he takes a look to the monitors.."HOLY! IS THAT YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE?!" (yep, guys -- aloud with a surprised look -- great bedside manner and way to make me panic even more!)
Me: "Um, yep" (while I'm thinking...you still think it's gallstones now doc?!)
He excuses himself. I can hear him talking to the nurse outside the curtain and hear the words, pre-eclampsia, call obstetrical triage. I turn to Matt, "guess I'm not over dramatic eh? I hope our girl is ok."
The doctor returns, and said that he was sending us to another hospital's obstetrical triage - they are aware we are on route and sent us on our way. Yes, by ourselves - not in an ambulance (people are always perturbed by this -- as am I) so at this point I'm worried but not panicked that out situation is super critical
It was early morning so traffic was light we arrived at the obstetrical triage within 15 minutes. We do all the paperwork, I'm admitted and placed in a triage bed. A nurse says they will need a urine sample at some point and says she'll leave the cup in the washroom, and a doctor should be with me shortly. I have to say we waited longer than I would have liked but finally an Intern arrived (*really from this point I'm a little iffy on all the details and order of events). Asked some questions, took my BP, ordered bloodwork.
He then returned and explained, that they believe that what I was experiencing, was HELLP syndrome - which stands for hemolysis, elevated liver enzymes and a low platelet count. It's a form of eclampsia that often comes on suddenly and with no previous pre-eclamptic symptoms or concerns.
Then he continues to explain, that if this is in fact what is happening -- the only treatment for this condition is to deliver the baby as soon as possible.
My mind raced, my heart raced, and I looked to Matt thinking is this really happening?
I'll be back later this week with Part II. From here there are a roller coaster of emotions that come back with reminiscing and I think I might find it hard to write, but hope to finish it up!
First I want to note that I had a great pregnancy up until this point, had a few days of mornings sickness and some fatigue in the beginning but otherwise it was great. I complete all my required schoolwork for the term and had just finished the 4th week of an 8 week fieldwork placement when this all happened.
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| Last bump photo (taken at 27 weeks) |
Saturday, June 1st
I was awoken suddenly, early in the morning (around 3am) by a sharp pain in my upper abdominal area right below the sternum. It was a weird pain, it lingered for a bit and subsided only to come back a little stronger. I jogged my brain to remember what I had eaten the evening before thinking that it was heartburn. I had never experienced heartburn in my life, but knew it was a common in pregnancy - especially in the last trimester (I was going to be 30 weeks on Tuesday). So I chalked it up to "heartburn" and had a pretty uncomfortable sleep - telling myself I would head to town for some tums in the morning. I really didn't feel well for most of the day, I rested on the couch for most of the morning and then started to feel a bit better after lunch, so I headed to the store. I had a baby shower for a friend on the Sunday that I needed to provide a dessert for so I got some things that I needed for that and picked up some Tums. I came home took some tums and prepared the dessert as well as started some supper for the evening and was generally feeling better. "Wow" I said to my husband, "heartburn is not fun, I never knew if could be this bad". We laughed, ate supper, and settled on the couch for the evening. Then around 8pm the pain came back this time along with a wicked headache. I popped a Tylenol and then called my mom. I filled my mom in on the details and while on the phone with her the pain became extremely intense, nearly unbearable. My mom suggested that I call Health Links (a local resource that connects you with a Registered Nurse to help with decisions on what care you may require). I told the nurse on the line my spiel, nearly 30 weeks pregnant, on and off pain in upper abdomen below sternum that I would rate a 7-8 at times, swollen feet (don't all pregnant women?!) and answered all her questions, by this point I was actually feeling almost 100% better.
But this was her advice: "take a baby aspirin and call the ambulance ASAP."
Me: "What?!" Yes, that was my response. "you know what..since the beginning of our conversation the pain has subsided substantially"
The nurse then asked, "are you going to take my advice?"
I responded, "well truthfully, I'm not going to call the ambulance. Like I said, I'm feeling much better but if the pain returns I will definitely have my husband drive me to the ER."
Nurse, "so your not taking my advice?"
Me: "No, not at this time."
Nurse: "Ok, but that is my advice."
I hung up the phone, my husband looked at me puzzled and asked what she said, "I think she thought I was having a heart attack! I'm not having a heart attack! The pain is gone now, I'm ready for bed". My husband questioned me again and said it was up to me, hospital or no hospital, "no hospital" I responded and off we went to bed.
(Note: I know your probably shaking your head at me at this point and I don't blame you. If I learned anything from my experience it is trust the professionals. I figured I knew my body -- but now realize I may have been in denial - and at this point the pain had subsided - and didn't want to be over dramatic by heading to the ER. I do wish that the nurse had explained to me WHY she was advising me to call the ambulance, I may have been more inclined to follow her advice if she explained what she thought was going on - she gave no explanation and as I said from her advice I assumed she miss understood where I describing the pain.)
Sunday, June 2
I woke up feeling fine! I had slept well and had no pain. I had sent my friend a text before I went to bed saying I may not make the shower as I wasn't feeling great so I texted her again telling her I would make it and was feeling better. So my husband and I headed to my parents (the shower was near their home) and I went off to the shower that afternoon. All my friends were there and of course being pregnant everyone asks how you are, I explained my previous 24 hours to most, laughing it off. Most agreed that I looked fine - "but wow your feet are swollen!". After the baby shower, we had supper at my parents and then prepared to head home. Before leaving though, my mom said that she thought my face was really swollen and even my arms a bit, well I am pregnant mom!
"I don't know, you look so pale too" my mom stated.
"Well, I feel fine right now," I kissed her goodbye and we headed home.
Got home and went to bed.
Monday, June 3
I was again awoken around 2 am, this time the pain was extremely intense. I went to the washroom and was so dizzy. When I went back to the bedroom, picked up my iPhone.
I googled my symptoms: swollen feet, upper abdominal pain, headache, dizziness while pregnant.
All my results: PRE-ECLAMPSIA/ECLAMPSIA. (insert panic)
Immediately I woke Matt and said "we need to go to the hospital! I don't care if maybe I'm self-diagnosing and being dramatic but we are going". We hopped in the truck and made the 30 minute drive to the closest hospital - we arrived around 3 am.
Luckily, there was no one else in the waiting room. I was immediately triaged by the nurse. She took my blood pressure: 150/94. Oh no! I thought it is pre-eclampsia (as a high blood pressure was the link to all the other symptoms). The nurse said nothing, didn't even seemed phased my high BP and sent me to sit with my husband until I'm called.
We waited a few minutes and then we were placed in a ER bed, a nurse checked my stats again, asked me a few questions and then we waited for the doctor. The nurse and doctor came in about 20 minutes later (it was actually a doctor I had had at another ER visit).
Dr: "So I hear your having some upper abdominal pain ... explain the pain ...where exactly..."
I answered his questions pointing to just under my sternum radiating right and sometimes into the back, can become a 7-8.
Dr: "Well I think we are looking at a case of gallstones - which is very common in pregnancy..either that or you are having a hairy baby" he and the nurse laugh.
Me: "oh really? Gallstones?" (seriously, like I said I had seen this doctor before (not during pregnancy) -- and his answer that time was gallstones/kidney stone then too which was wrong...really Dr..really I'm thinking)
Dr. "Ya, very common, just hang tight I'll be back"...then as he turns to leave he takes a look to the monitors.."HOLY! IS THAT YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE?!" (yep, guys -- aloud with a surprised look -- great bedside manner and way to make me panic even more!)
Me: "Um, yep" (while I'm thinking...you still think it's gallstones now doc?!)
He excuses himself. I can hear him talking to the nurse outside the curtain and hear the words, pre-eclampsia, call obstetrical triage. I turn to Matt, "guess I'm not over dramatic eh? I hope our girl is ok."
The doctor returns, and said that he was sending us to another hospital's obstetrical triage - they are aware we are on route and sent us on our way. Yes, by ourselves - not in an ambulance (people are always perturbed by this -- as am I) so at this point I'm worried but not panicked that out situation is super critical
It was early morning so traffic was light we arrived at the obstetrical triage within 15 minutes. We do all the paperwork, I'm admitted and placed in a triage bed. A nurse says they will need a urine sample at some point and says she'll leave the cup in the washroom, and a doctor should be with me shortly. I have to say we waited longer than I would have liked but finally an Intern arrived (*really from this point I'm a little iffy on all the details and order of events). Asked some questions, took my BP, ordered bloodwork.
He then returned and explained, that they believe that what I was experiencing, was HELLP syndrome - which stands for hemolysis, elevated liver enzymes and a low platelet count. It's a form of eclampsia that often comes on suddenly and with no previous pre-eclamptic symptoms or concerns.
Then he continues to explain, that if this is in fact what is happening -- the only treatment for this condition is to deliver the baby as soon as possible.
My mind raced, my heart raced, and I looked to Matt thinking is this really happening?
I'll be back later this week with Part II. From here there are a roller coaster of emotions that come back with reminiscing and I think I might find it hard to write, but hope to finish it up!
Weekend Snapshots
I nearly always have my phone around so I tend to snap a lot of our photos with it and rarely ever pick up my dSLR as much as I should. This weekend I put down the iPhone (not only to not take photos with it, but to step away from social media), snuggled with my family and captured a few sweet moments.
top: Matt and Greta snuggling (and lots of bubbles & drool!)
bottom: what a doll! | Milka{I think she often feels snubbed lately and I feel so bad} | always adoring Daddy
How was your weekend? Do you find yourself absorbed too often in social media?
Happy Friday!
It's Friday (not that mean too much to me now that I'm a mom..)!
I'm looking forward to the weekend to have Matt home with us where we will enjoy a family breakfast of pfannkuchen (german pancakes), maybe do a bit of holiday decorating and have a good family snuggle as I think it is going to be a bit cooler this weekend. I also have plans to wrap and package up the gifts that need to head overseas to Matt's family for Christmas...I'm so excited that I'm organized early this year and that they will make it on time, maybe even early..go me!
I was planning on doing a longer post for today, but then I got a little distracted last night with photoshop (which I just installed) and created an new header for the blog! What do you think?! I'm working on a few other elements to add to the blog and have planned a few posts that you can look out for in the coming weeks. I'm hoping to sit down to write out Greta's birth story and explain a bit more what happened that led to her being born premature. I expect it will be broken up into a couple post - that is if I can bring myself to write it out.
I'll leave you with a photo out of little angel from our Christmas photo shoot! I know I'm biased but she really is the cutest thing EVER!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
I'm looking forward to the weekend to have Matt home with us where we will enjoy a family breakfast of pfannkuchen (german pancakes), maybe do a bit of holiday decorating and have a good family snuggle as I think it is going to be a bit cooler this weekend. I also have plans to wrap and package up the gifts that need to head overseas to Matt's family for Christmas...I'm so excited that I'm organized early this year and that they will make it on time, maybe even early..go me!
I was planning on doing a longer post for today, but then I got a little distracted last night with photoshop (which I just installed) and created an new header for the blog! What do you think?! I'm working on a few other elements to add to the blog and have planned a few posts that you can look out for in the coming weeks. I'm hoping to sit down to write out Greta's birth story and explain a bit more what happened that led to her being born premature. I expect it will be broken up into a couple post - that is if I can bring myself to write it out.
I'll leave you with a photo out of little angel from our Christmas photo shoot! I know I'm biased but she really is the cutest thing EVER!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Dreaming of Naptime
First off, I have to say that we are lucky we have a five month old (who is technically only three months gestation) that sleeps through the night (7:30pm to 5:30am then back down till 7:30am)! But....I guess maybe if you get lucky with nights you don't get naps?!
I really like this quote. When it comes to motherhood there are lots of challenges and right now my major challenge has become naps. You see, I am type A and therefore love routine..but since becoming a mom I feel as though I have no routine or order to my day. I really dream of naptime to get things done but it seems like it is not in the cards for me. Yes, Greta does nap but the problem is the naps happen while she is held, which is not conducive to getting lots done (even with babywearing to try to get some stuff done!). I think that the fact she is a preemie has a lot to do with our predicament. She spent countless hours kangaroo-ed in the nicu so to her it is comfort, it is safety, it is nourishment and it is love. (And really how comforting is a crib with those bars, and it;s cold and hard...) I've read books, blog posts, websites and done plenty of research but can't seem to figure where to go from here to get her to nap routinely and consistently. Part of me thinks I'm asking to much from her, as lots of books say consistency of naps won't happen until five to six months then the other part says she needs to learn a routine soon or it will never happen. Anyone have some advice/tips on a napping routine? This mama would be grateful for some ideas!
Until we get it figured out though, I will continue to indulge in the joys of motherhood -- which happen to be the sweet cuddles I get when she does nap. They really do melt away all my silly frustration when I breathe in her smell, rest my cheek against hers, and just be with her -- because I know before long those cuddles will be few and far between as she grow into the feisty little girl I know she is going to be!
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Until we get it figured out though, I will continue to indulge in the joys of motherhood -- which happen to be the sweet cuddles I get when she does nap. They really do melt away all my silly frustration when I breathe in her smell, rest my cheek against hers, and just be with her -- because I know before long those cuddles will be few and far between as she grow into the feisty little girl I know she is going to be!
Winter Mornings
This weekend winter arrived in Manitoba. Usually I dread the arrival of the snow because other years it meant a longer and white knuckled drive into the city for school or work, but instead this year I am welcoming it with open arms as I have the luxury of choosing when I want to venture out on the roads and into the city. The other reason I'm welcoming winter is because winter mornings have become my favorite! The reason: sweet mornings with our little family. You see, summer and fall are very busy for Matt and now that the snow has fallen things begin to slow down slightly. This means some extra time to enjoy the morning with us. This morning we leisurely sipped coffee and watched Greta play under her play gym. Then while Greta and daddy enjoyed some cuddles I was able to get some things around house done before he left for work. I am seeing that this year winter mornings will be the setting for some sweet memories to be made and this makes my heart is happy.
What are winter mornings like for you?
Dear Greta: 5 months
Dear Greta,
Wow, we are one month away from you being half-a-year old. Everyday you are changing and becoming such a clever girl as you are grabbing rattles, laughing and smiling at new sounds or faces, and exploring your body - especially your hand which you appear to find quite tasty as they are ALWAYS in your mouth! (You've have been keeping us busy - which is why this months letter is a little late.)
Your Stats:
Well you haven't been to the doctor so we don't have an exact weight on you this month but I'm guessing your around 11 or 12 lbs now. Your growing quickly out of the 0-3 outfits you've been wearing so you are growing quickly!
About You:
You are learning and growing everyday, plus you finally have a consistent sleep schedule! You go to bed around 7:30pm and you are sleeping until 5:30-6am. You eat while you are sleeping at 11pm which gets you through the night and allows daddy and I to get a good sleep as well. You listen to Jewel's Lullaby album every night as you fall asleep in your cradle. We are hoping now that you are sleeping well that we can move you into your crib in the nursery that I decorated so pretty for you! (We will see if it happens before next month.)
This month you celebrated your first Halloween! You didn't get dressed up in a costume but took pictures with the pumpkin daddy carved (his very first one since being in Canada!). It is starting to get colder and your about to experience your first winter and first snow! It's exciting at first but Manitoba winter's are so long, you'll probably hate them when your older, haha!
Love you sweet girl,
Mommy, Daddy and Milka
Wow, we are one month away from you being half-a-year old. Everyday you are changing and becoming such a clever girl as you are grabbing rattles, laughing and smiling at new sounds or faces, and exploring your body - especially your hand which you appear to find quite tasty as they are ALWAYS in your mouth! (You've have been keeping us busy - which is why this months letter is a little late.)
Your Stats:
Well you haven't been to the doctor so we don't have an exact weight on you this month but I'm guessing your around 11 or 12 lbs now. Your growing quickly out of the 0-3 outfits you've been wearing so you are growing quickly!
About You:
You are learning and growing everyday, plus you finally have a consistent sleep schedule! You go to bed around 7:30pm and you are sleeping until 5:30-6am. You eat while you are sleeping at 11pm which gets you through the night and allows daddy and I to get a good sleep as well. You listen to Jewel's Lullaby album every night as you fall asleep in your cradle. We are hoping now that you are sleeping well that we can move you into your crib in the nursery that I decorated so pretty for you! (We will see if it happens before next month.)
This month you celebrated your first Halloween! You didn't get dressed up in a costume but took pictures with the pumpkin daddy carved (his very first one since being in Canada!). It is starting to get colder and your about to experience your first winter and first snow! It's exciting at first but Manitoba winter's are so long, you'll probably hate them when your older, haha!
Love you sweet girl,
Mommy, Daddy and Milka
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