thinking about | friendships. The other day I read an article (without being interrupted...as I was at the hairdresser) about how the number of friends a woman has decreases as she gets older. It really got me thinking about my friendships. I have a variety of friend groups; from my core group of high school girls to friends I have met through out my career and education journey, and everyone of these friendships is different and I cherish and value them for different reasons. Then there are friendships that I wonder if I should give up on - I know we are all busy, especially when we become moms, but I really can't stand being ignored by someone I consider(ed) a friend. This has happened a bit lately and although I understand this person is a new mom, it would be nice to have some acknowledgement that my messages have been received - and if getting together or contact with me is something this individual does not currently find of interest, I would simply rather be told that than simply ignored! How about you, have you have friendships fizzle from just being ignored? Maybe it's intentional, maybe it's not - but what would you do? Also on this topic, I had a very close friendship end in my early twenties during a late night drunken fight with where cruel word were slung and I decided that I did not need that in my life. So, just like that ties were cut - even though her friendship with my sister continued. I chalked it up to we were at different points in our lives and as the article stated, lots of friendships are formed from shared experiences and circumstance and when that changes so does the friendship. But now, we are at similar points in our lives, as we both have daughters the same age, are married etc and I often wonder if with some work this friendship could heal, and then I wonder if it is even worth it. I no longer have hard feelings over the words slung that night - but I also know what I have other great friendships with people who understand me more, who have stood by me through life changes, so is it really something I need to pursue and wonder about? Have you ever healed a broken friendship from the past, or is the past best left in the past?
reading | occupational therapy notes/texts. Yep, the countdown to returning to school is down to weeks so I am preparing myself for getting back into it! It's a mix of emotions as I am reminded of the passion I have for this field, but also gives me anxiety about seeing my girl for 8 hour stretches when I rarely have left her for over 4. Cue the waterworks.
watching | nothing new. I really, really have this urge to go to the movies - I can't remember the last time we went to a movie and I really would just love that experience (you know the popcorn & not potential crying baby that requires a pause). Have you seen anything really good lately that requires the "big screen" experience?
thankful for | the blogging community. I am so thankful for the other mom blogs I have discovered and connected with through this community. The web/social media has brought me so much comfort and connection during nearly a year (!), as a new mom. Andrea allowed me to share real emotions on my birth experience and that has connected me with other moms how have similar experiences. I read posts on a daily basis that let me know other moms have the some thoughts, feeling, and struggles that I do and I am comforted by the fact that even though I don't know the individuals personally, I feel connected and inspired by them from my living room in central Canada. Even though at times social media may feel like it consumes me in a bad way - I am thankful that so many moms open their lives, share their experiences, and build friendships through this medium as we may have a connection with individuals miles and miles away we may have never discovered without it! So thank-you readers, for your comments, encouragement, and understanding as it is you I am thankful for!
As usual, I am linking up with a mama collective (a blog I am thankul for!)! I'd love to hear what your up to or what is on your mind, so go link up your currently post.
I'm so glad you linked up today! I love finding new blogs to follow and can't wait to read more from you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! Your blog is so cute, I love finding new blogs!
DeleteKelli,
ReplyDeleteGrowing up is an interesting thing. I learnt this at a very young age dealing with friendships crumbling throughout school. As I grew up, I decided that I wasn't going to have people that were willing to throw me away in my adult life. Those games were for elementary and high school, I didn't need to be bullied as I grew older.
Last June was a horrible time for me as I had a very dear friend of mine go through some life troubles and as I was so willing to be there and help her with anything and everything, she pushed me away and caused a big fight that she literally tossed me out of her life(so did her husband, a friend of mine for years.)
When the birth of her daughter came around, I was left thinking how she was doing, if the baby was ok and how she faired with giving birth. I received a text message about the birth of her baby in September and I kindly responded thinking that she may be reaching out. I didn't hear from her again until February. That day, we chatted until midnight from early morning and I thought maybe this was the beginning of repairing the friendship that I adored and she claimed to adore. I haven't heard from her since.
I am stubborn as she threw me away, that reaching out to her is just something I can not do. She hurt me terribly when she decided not to be my friend anymore. With her reaching out, I thought, give her the chance to reach out to me and than I'll know she really wants to be my friend again but here we are in April and nothing. It hurts me that I haven't heard from her and it makes me wonder if all the claims of great friendship were just a way to find out what was going on with me. On the otherhand maybe she was waiting for me to contact her. Its the great debate but you honestly have to do what's best for you. I didn't want to get hurt again, that's why I was really hoping she would reach out to me to repair the friendship and not through text or emails, I wanted face to face! Maybe one day we'll get to repair things but in the mean time, I'm left wondering what was the reason behind contacting me a couple months ago.
I have a couple friendships from high school but hardly any carried forward. Not all of my friendships in high school were overly strong to begin with. I do really like some people from high school but we're more acquaintances than anything and that doesn't bother me at all because its not awkard when seeing them, its kind of nice actually.
As we grow, we're dealt with friendships that simply grow apart because our lives are heading in different directions or we're too busy dealing with what's going on that we don't notice how long its been since we've talked to someone.
The friendships I have in my life right now, they're strong as I might not see or talk to them as often as I should but when I do, its like we were never apart and those are the relationships that are so very important to me.
Just food for thought when thinking about this person. :)
Thanks for that Ashleigh! Ya, I really don't think that attempting a reconnect is worth it. Like you say I think leaving high school is the past is best. I like the variety and strength of the friendships I already have, I should be the one who has to work at it all the time. Friendship like any relationship is a two-way street. You can only give and try so hard before it's time to just move on and put the energy towards the people that matter. It's too bad that your friendship wasn't able to work out after a slight reconnection, but I'm sure your surrounded by lots of great people who value your friendship!
DeleteBeen there. Had those long deep conversations with myself about friendships and how life changes things. It is a hard pill to swallow sometimes and I don't have the right answer.
ReplyDeleteHugs Momma!
So true that friendships can be life changing and I think you learn to value the strength of great friendships when you realize not everyone puts in the same effort as you would hope! Thanks for stopping by & for your comment!
DeleteKelli, you are so sweet! Thank you for your kind words in the post... I treasure you too, friend. I have had one MAJOR friendship die, but it was ME being cut off. She has never extended an olive branch to me, and so I live in a constant state to anxiety that I might see her again or something... and it sucks. I hate it. I wish that she would reach out to me in some small way and tell me that she's sorry for the things she said and for cutting me off. But I know it will never happen. So it breaks my heart. So I know how that feels to be in a state of "what should I do now?" It sucks.
ReplyDeleteI love the blogging world, just like you :) And isn't Meg adorable? I really love her blog too. Thanks for linking with us :) You rock. ~Jenna
The blogging community is pretty great. :-) I love reading about other kiddos my son's age. And older ones, to see what to expect! haha
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your birth story on Andrea's blog I was so surprised by the similarities! It's nice to "know" someone else who went through all that nonsense. I know I will never forget that time, but I can't believe how fast they have grown, changed, and caught up! Preemie power!