This morning was the third morning in a row of Greta waking at 4 am. Not fussy, hungry, or in too much pain from cutting teeth - just wide awake. Ready to explore it seems, crawling around our bed seems like it is cat's pajamas at this early hour. We bare it, laugh at her new found skills and I tell Matt he better put on a full pot of coffee so I can make it through the day. I walk to the kitchen red-eyed and groggy, pour a cup of coffee, then add my milk...only to have it curdle in the cup (gah! this mama cried over
curdled milk), yes my friends this is my life lately, and that seems to be only the tip of the iceberg.
I get that I'm not the only mother dealing with sleep regression, probably thousands are right alongside me, and some mom's have yet to have a good sleep since babes arrival, but for me right now this is like the straw that breaks the camel's back. On top of the early morning wakings, she's cutting her first teeth, which really has not been too much of an issue, besides the biting and using my nipples like a teething ring. I don't know whether to attribute this wrath on my "girls" to the teething or to the sudden dip in milk supply. You see, a few months ago my period returned, and since then my milk supply has been low. Low but maintainable, whereas this last week, I swear my milk is nearly non-existent. The increase in solid food has decreased the amount of nursing sessions that Greta is demanding during the day and as I prepare to return to work/school in less than a week and a half we have been trying to supplement daytime feeding - with not much luck. As noted in previous posts, Greta does not take a bottle so we planned to transition her to formula in a sippy cup. Problem: she seems to detest formula. Problem 2: she's not a huge fan of the sippy cup either. Seriously I feel like I can't win. We have tried several cups, a few different formula, and still no success. Best form of getting fluid into her is water, from a regular cup. I bet all you mama's reading are thinking, if she hates formula, then pump mama pump! Well tried that - with only .5 oz per side to show for my efforts. A measly 1 oz of milk. I'm sure my body does not respond well to a pump, as even though I pumped consistently while she was in the NICU, the most I have every pumped in my pumping experience is 3 ozs a side. It seems my body wants the real thing to produce. Enter blessed thistle and fenugreek. These have been my friends in the past and I am hoping they will pull through for me again, but even with an slight increase in supply, I still am trying to figure how I'm going to supplement day time feedings while I'm at work.
Compound all of these worries and issues with my feelings of returning to work, and moving to my parents (which sleep at Grandma's house is a whole other can of worms! Easter weekend = a no sleep disaster), my days are full of tearful bathroom breaks, that are far worse than any crying seshes I've had in a while, chugging liquids, popping herbs, and chasing after our now quite mobile and inquisitive (why does every floor fluff or dog hair need to enter her mouth?!) little girl.
Sorry to this post a full on rant., but this mama needed to rant. Plus, I'm open to any suggestions and opinions any of you have, as I begin to crumble as each day closer to my return to work and days away from Greta approach.
I'm off to sip black (ugh!) coffee and plan out what to tackle today, or maybe I'll skip that and catch a few winks as she naps - which I have not done in a a long time.