Greta is ONE!

The saying that the days are long but the years are fast feels so true today.  I can't believe it has been a year since lil' Miss G come into our lives. In some ways it feel like just yesterday I was sitting beside her isolette in the NICU day in and day out, and other days it feela like a distant memory.

Over the last few days, I have been reflecting on that time. Thinking back to how unexpectedly, she enter this world at just 2 lbs 7 oz, so itty bitty it's hard to remember her that small. Her first breath was probably the hardest one she'll ever have to take, but her little body didn't waiver, yet persevered and with each day the breaths got easier and she got a little stronger.  I still see that strength in her everyday as she is feisty, determined, and I believe as she gets a little older stubborn may be a word I'll use to describe her.  These are not bad traits - as I look at them as traits of a fighter, one who has taken on this big world and with a strong-will is determined to conquer it no matter what it takes.  I often wonder where she get her strength, as at times I feel weak thinking back on how my body could not carry and care for her as long as it should have, but then I am reminded that her early arrival made me stronger as well, and I would not have be handed that experience if I wasn't stronger enough to handle it.  The experience taught me love, strength, compassion, and support that I am so grateful for and that has shaped me into the woman and mother I am today.  

Greta is truely a blessing, our little pearl from heaven that was sent to remind us just how precious and fragile life can be, yet if you surround things in love and nurture it with grace it can blossom into the most beautiful gem you've ever seen. Although it seems like the first year has gone so fast I am looking forward to the coming years as we continue to watch her strive, grow, and develop. She is most certainly on her way to becoming a little lady, the apple of her father's eye, and my little side kick! As she grows a little more independent, I will recall the days spent with her lying on my chest or cuddles in my arms - and cherish the moments those cuddles are still wanted.  

Here's to a year, sweet girl, looking forward to many more years of memories. 

xo

p.s. Greta's Garden Party birthday is this Sunday, following over on Instagram for sneak peeks hope to have a post next week with some of the details.

Life Lately: Sleep Regression, Teething & Decreased Milk Supply

This morning was the third morning in a row of Greta waking at 4 am. Not fussy, hungry, or in too much pain from cutting teeth - just wide awake. Ready to explore it seems, crawling around our bed seems like it is cat's pajamas at this early hour. We bare it, laugh at her new found skills and I tell Matt he better put on a full pot of coffee so I can make it through the day. I walk to the kitchen red-eyed and groggy, pour a cup of coffee, then add my milk...only to have it curdle in the cup (gah! this mama cried over curdled milk), yes my friends this is my life lately, and that seems to be only the tip of the iceberg.

I get that I'm not the only mother dealing with sleep regression, probably thousands are right alongside me, and some mom's have yet to have a good sleep since babes arrival, but for me right now this is like the straw that breaks the camel's back. On top of the early morning wakings, she's cutting her first teeth, which really has not been too much of an issue, besides the biting and using my nipples like a teething ring. I don't know whether to attribute this wrath on my "girls" to the teething or to the sudden dip in milk supply. You see, a few months ago my period returned, and since then my milk supply has been low. Low but maintainable, whereas this last week, I swear my milk is nearly non-existent. The increase in solid food has decreased the amount of nursing sessions that Greta is demanding during the day and as I prepare to return to work/school in less than a week and a half we have been trying to supplement daytime feeding - with not much luck. As noted in previous posts, Greta does not take a bottle so we planned to transition her to formula in a sippy cup. Problem: she seems to detest formula. Problem 2: she's not a huge fan of the sippy cup either. Seriously I feel like I can't win. We have tried several cups, a few different formula, and still no success. Best form of getting fluid into her is water, from a regular cup. I bet all you mama's reading are thinking, if she hates formula, then pump mama pump! Well tried that - with only .5 oz per side to show for my efforts. A measly 1 oz of milk. I'm sure my body does not respond well to a pump, as even though I pumped consistently while she was in the NICU, the most I have every pumped in my pumping experience is 3 ozs a side. It seems my body wants the real thing to produce. Enter blessed thistle and fenugreek. These have been my friends in the past and I am hoping they will pull through for me again, but even with an slight increase in supply, I still am trying to figure how I'm going to supplement day time feedings while I'm at work.

Compound all of these worries and issues with my feelings of returning to work, and moving to my parents (which sleep at Grandma's house is a whole other can of worms! Easter weekend = a no sleep disaster), my days are full of tearful bathroom breaks, that are far worse than any crying seshes I've had in a while, chugging liquids, popping herbs, and chasing after our now quite mobile and inquisitive (why does every floor fluff or dog hair need to enter her mouth?!) little girl.

Sorry to this post a full on rant., but this mama needed to rant. Plus, I'm open to any suggestions and opinions any of you have, as I begin to crumble as each day closer to my return to work and days away from Greta approach.

I'm off to sip black (ugh!) coffee and plan out what to tackle today, or maybe I'll skip that and catch a few winks as she naps - which I have not done in a a long time.

Dear Greta: 10 months

Dear Greta,

Your really starting to grow up now! Every day you seem more and more like your a little toddler than a little baby - I think if you were walking it would really feel like it! When you stand at your play table and bop your head to the music it make me think how quick you have grown! I cherish the moments I cuddle you in my arms and think back of the days you were soooo tiny- then I put you down and you keep me too busy to think!

Your Stats:

• Weight: 15lbs 6oz
• Length: 26 inches

We went to the dietitian and she says we are feeding all the right things and you are definitely starting to gain weight. The other night when we were bathing you we were laughing about your little potbelly -- we are not worried about you getting enough food! You love your food, especially bread!

About You:

Your creeping! Not quite crawling yet but you get around by pulling yourself with your arms. You get up on all fours but drop to your tummy when you have somewhere you want/need to be.  Standing is you most favourite thing. You will pull yourself up on anything to get to your feet, which at times can be a little scary. Like when I sat you in the laundry basket to change a load of clothes only to turn around and find you standing! Good thing your pretty sturdy because you were not on carpet if you were to fall. Your are constantly jabbering away, lots of dadada, bababa, ahhahah sounds are coming out - no mama yet although I encourage it daily ( or hourly!). 

You Love:

• Bread! If you won't eat anything else we know you'll eat a slice of bread.
• mandarin oranges
• mommy making silly faces
• music

This is my last month at home with you full time, and it makes me sad. I have loved every minute of the last 10 months spent with you and I wish that it could continues.

Love you baby girl,

Mama

Those Rough Mom Days

Yesterday was a rough mom day over here. It seems like the last week we have been having more rough days than bad days and I start feeling like I'm horrible at this mom thing! The week after our trip went great, Greta was sleeping through the night, napping like a champ, eating well. Then bam!We seemed to have hit a rough patch, where we had rough nights, not naps, and she really is not eating well. 

It really got to me, and then finally I just sat and thought about all the good days we had and how great she was on our trip! I'm pretty sure every mom has hit these rough patches and if you put it into perspective, the good days, far out number the bad days. Last night, I went to bed just hoping for a good day and told my self if it was another rough day I would get through it, just like I have and it will get better.

And guess what..

I woke up today, and it has been a good okay day. The last few days I felt like it was the biggest task to just get my self changed and the bed made - but today, lil' miss took a morning nap without much struggle, so  I got some laundry done, the kitchen cleaned, the bed made, and I got to enjoy my coffee. We went for a walk, I vacuumed the living room, and I'm finding time to blog! The afternoon nap was a challenge, but 75% of the day went great so I'm counting it as a success.  

What I'm trying to say with this post, is when your having a rough day, when your in the "trenches" it seems tough, but take the time to look back and gain some perspective, cause even though in some moments it seems it may not end, the good days will come, they far out number the bad, and really these precious days and nearly a year has seemed to just slip through my fingers, so I have to even cherish the bad days - because she won't be this small forever, and the days and struggles may only get harder.

Starting Solids

So we are at the point where we have been given the go ahead by the pediatrician to start solids.  The big milestone! As I mentioned in my 7 month letter to Greta, we tried her out on cereal the other day but I'm still torn as whether this is the direction I want to go with solids.

             

I've read about and researched Baby Led Weaning (put simply, baby self-feeds) and it really appeals to me from a developmental standpoint; eating when they are physically ready to do so, as well from a sensory perspective; in allowing babies to be exposed to a multitude of textures and tastes from the very start.  I also love it because it is so much less work (yah, call me lazy that I don't want to make baby food) and can help to avoid Greta being a really picky eater in the future.  As much as it really appeals to me, I have to keep in mind that she is a preemie, and the fact that she did not go to term she does not have the nutrient stores that other babies do.  The pediatrician suggested we start solids sooner than later because her iron stores will begin to get low soon - although she has been getting vitamin supplements since coming home from the NICU.

I tried her on cereal to start in order to how she reacted, if it was a struggle and she refused I decided that we would wait a few weeks and go from there.  Her first experience was neither good nor bad, she didn't refuse the spoon, nor was she overly thrilled with in either.  We let her play with the spoon and bowl for a bit and she had some fun sucking her fingers and trying to put the spoon in her mouth.  This experience showed me that she is interested in food, which is what BLW principles indicate would be a good time to start. But, she is only gestationally 5 months - and they say to start at 6 or later.  We tried her for a second time on solids (spoon-feeding) and this time she was very interested mouth opening and happy - again another sign that she is potentially ready.

So I have decided to do a bit of both. I know if you read a lot of the BLW information they say that strictly BLW is better, but I have to do what is going to work for us - which I believe is a mixture of both.  I am going to start introducing her to finger foods to see how she does and interacts with the food, but I am also going to spoon-feed her (high iron foods), although I believe that I am going to do it only once a day while maintaining on demand breastfeeding.  If she seems to respond well to the finger food then I will hold off on increasing the number of spoon feed per day and try attempt BLW if she seems developmentally ready.  I'm hoping that mixing the two methods will work ok, and not be detrimental to the benefits I'm hoping to achieve from BLW.  As a parent you have to do what works for you and your baby right? and although I would love to strictly BLW it may not be the right move for Greta and her needs.

Here's to hoping it goes well!  How did you introduce solids? Anyone have experence with BLW or partial BLW ? Would love to hear from you!